Happy Life Day Everybody! Or Not...

Happy Life Day Everybody! Or Not…

http://media-cache-ec2.pinterest.com/upload/129760032983819320_Y14qYf45.jpg

 It came to my attention recently that there was a Star Wars special that I had not seen. It is cleverly titled: Star Wars Holiday Special. You can learn all the fun facts about it here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Star_Wars_Holiday_Special

 I thought to myself, hey I have a week off, I should try to fix this gap in my Star Wars Nerddom and add this wonderful piece of the Star Wars verse to my fandom. My husband, who was not alive to see this special on November 17, 1978 when it first aired (First and only time it aired), but did watch it later in college, warned me against it. In fact, it was his warning against it that made me want to watch it in the first place! I thought to myself, “How bad could it be?” I mean come one, it’s Star Wars and a holiday special. As a general rule, I love all things Star Wars, and all things holiday. This mini-film was going to be a dream come true for me! One thing led to another, and I sat in shocked silence staring at my computer screen wondering what I had just burnt into my brain while my husband sat nearby doing his best not to look as thrilled as he was for being completely and utterly right. I hate when he’s right.

To all you brave souls who wish to experience this piece of Star Wars Legend, beware, the road ahead is a dangerous one filled with pain and suffering. It is, however, a journey every self-respecting Star Wars fan has to go through at least once in their lifetime.  Consider it a rite of passage. May the force be with you.

The following is my summary of each section of this epic film and links of where you can find them in order on YouTube. (You’re welcome. It took me forever to piece it together with all the pieces that worked.) This hour or so of my life shall henceforth never be spoken about again.

Part One: In which Han Solo and Chewbacca are in the middle of a space battle with the Empire and Chewbacca’s family makes crazy sounds that make no sense for about the first twenty minutes of this “movie.” There’s also an attempted suicide by Chewie’s son and a demonic acrobatic show that lasts eight hours.

Run Time: 9:59

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCNGjKnTzaQ

Part Two: In which the cooing continues and Luke Skywalker and R2-D2 make a cameo! Shenanigans ensue between Luke and R2 involving engines and steam. You could say this scene gets pretty steamy (I know I’m funny). There’s also a punny scene with a shopkeeper.

Run Time: 10:00

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQLPZlKIHLE

Part IV (Yes I know this it out of order, but these links have many errors. Trust me, this is what comes next.): In which Malla (Chewie’s wife) is watching a cooking show hosted by a guy in a dress with four arms and who gives me nightmares, and I basically have no idea why I’m still watching. Abject horror? Morbid fascination at how this could get worse. There’s also a space battle. I think it’s stolen from Star Wars: A New Hope.

Run Time: 5:09

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUdTdKc3O5o

Part V: In which we watch a scene from Star Wars: A New Hope and have a Big Brother moment with an imperial agent giving orders on a screen in the Chewbacca family home. The punny guy from the shop shows up again. (How does he keep getting work?) Also Grandpa Itchy has a very uncomfortable private moment with a woman in his mind and I feel the need to cover my eyes.

Run Time: 5:18

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmxJwNXHNsY

Part VI: In which we get to see the conclusion to the uncomfortable moment with Grandpa Itchy and his dream woman (oh joy). There’s also singing. Why, dear God, why?

Run Time: 5:05

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emY5n8O9owo

Part VII: Princess Leia and C-3PO have their cameo, Wookie-Ookies come into existence, and Storm Troopers show up with Nazi-like Imperial agents. Happy holidays.

Run Time: 5:14

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8hCw89abII

Part VIII: In which somehow this show is still going and I just don’t know why. Imperial agents are racist against Wookies and Jefferson Starship has a cameo.

Run Time: 7:23

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvNrAawZDPU

Part IX: In which I fall asleep because I just have no idea what’s happening or why it’s important. Lumpy starts watching an original Star Wars cartoon which we’re not allowed to see because Fox doesn’t want you to.

Run Time: 2:24

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He4-79P2PmU

(Here’s an edited version of the cartoon I was able to find: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BM_MR7sY2_8)

Part 9: In which we, for some reason unknown, travel to a cantina on Tatooine, a weird guy pours liquid into a hole in his head, and an old lady sings to space aliens. Ok, nothing will surprise me anymore.  (I know the numbers are out of order, but we might as well jump to this version to finish this off. As far as I can tell, this is what comes next because Fox cut out what happens between the last clip and this one.)

Run Time: 9:53

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pH_FOOYQnCQ

Part 10: In which the song is still not over! How can that possibly be? Finally we’re back at Chewbacca’s house with his family (Joy, more growling). Chewbacca and Han Solo magically show up, Yay! Stormtroopers die, Han Solo is a softy, the Wookies growl at each other some more (enough with the growling!) and Chewie and Malla share an awkward Wookie kiss type thing.

Run Time: 8:48

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6jJweYMFug

Part 11: In which Wookies light candle, transcend into space to a special Wookie location. But oh look, Leia, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, R2-D2, and C-3P0 are there too! Leia sings about love and peace and stuff. There are trumpets, everyone’s happy, and we finally reach the blissful end of this tragic piece of Star Wars history. Cue random cut scenes from Star Wars: A New Hope.

Run Time:9:57

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9aLSnOG_4U

Congratulations, you survived! I feel closer to all of you now. We have all shared in a special kind of torture that Star Wars nerds everywhere subject themselves too, because frankly, we just can’t help ourselves. We must see it all! We must know and memorize every piece of Star Wars canon out there! I don’t know of a better way to end this then to just wish you all a very Happy Life Day filled with wookie love, homemade Wookie-Ookies, epic space battles, and songs of love and peace sung around the tree of life.

Now let us all forget this ever happened.

30th Birthday of the Dead: My experience making a delicious edible brain out of chocolate and cake!

This last weekend my husband celebrated his 30^th birthday. Since this birthday is such a milestone in a person’s life, I knew I had to do something awesome. One thing led to another (read hours spent on Pinterest and aimlessly searching Google for 30^th birthday ideas), and the answer came to me: Zombies! We are both huge zombie fans (My husband even has a zombie tattooed on his arm!), so I knew this was the way to go. I realized immediately that the cake was really going to make or break this theme, and what does any self-respecting zombie eat on his birthday? Brains of course!

Now here is where I had to get creative. Brain cakes aren’t exactly normal stock at a grocery store. I am a high school English teacher by trade, which means I have very little time to experiment with and hone my baking skills. If my life stats could be displayed as they are in the MMORPG’s I play in my spare time (Ha! Spare time, that’s a good one…), my XP for baking would be embarrassingly low. In this area I would definitely wear the label “casual.” But I was determined, my husband would be eating brains for his 30^th birthday, and they were going to be delicious!

Fast forward through more aimless hours on Pinterest and Google search, and cut to these two wonderful websites made by women way more talented than me when it comes to experiments in the kitchen:

http://www.healthywaytocook.com/2012/10/halloween-cake-balls-brains/

http://forkableblog.com/?p=99

I read these two posts, and while I may not have the highest skill set when it comes to baking, I thought to myself, “I could do that.” I have never even so much as melted chocolate before in my life, nor had I baked a cake from scratch. But I had made cupcakes from scratch before, from a very specific recipe, how hard could this be?

I started by buying the mold for the mini-brain treats. ThinkGeek is always my go to website for anything awesome. I swear, my husband and I could meet every need we ever have just by shopping on this site. I ordered the Brain Freeze ice-cube mold, and because I had ThinkGeek points to spare, I threw in the Millennium Falcon mold as well (what self-respected nerd wouldn’t want a Millennium Falcon cake ball?) Neat fact about all these fancy ice-cube molds, most of them can be used as chocolate molds too, who knew? I do now, and so do you! You can buy them here:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/d29b/

 

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/ebf9/

Next, I needed the mold for the main attraction, the large brain! I found a jello mold on Amazon.com for pretty cheap. While it is intended for use with jello, this mold also holds up when used with chocolate. I feel my XP rising already. Here’s what I bought:

http://www.amazon.com/Human-Brain-Gelatin-Halloween-Party/dp/B000XEX8IE

With all my molds ready to go, it was time to get to the actual experiment, I mean, baking. I gathered my ingredients. I bought three bags of Ghirardelli's white chocolate chips, one can of cherry pie filling, food coloring, and all the standard ingredients needed for a standard white cake and chocolate frosting (It’s what my husband likesJ). Here’s a picture of the baked cakes and chocolate frosting. I wanted to make the cakes red, but I apparently picked up a box of neon food coloring, so pink it was!

Here are the recipes I used for the white cake and chocolate frosting:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/cooking-live/classic-white-cake-recipe/index.html

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/chocolate-frosting-recipe/index.html

Once I had the cakes baked and the chocolate frosting ready to go, I broke up one of the nine inch rounds into my mixer and threw in some of the delicious frosting in order to make the brain “cake ball” mix. I’m sure there’s a measurement that goes with this, but I’m a big believer in learning by experimentation, so the super scientific measurement of frosting I threw in with the cake is “some.” Then, “some more” just for good measure J

Then I mixed it all up until it looked nice and blended. It really only took a minute. The main goal here was to make sure it’s blended enough so I could take it out and roll it into little balls to fit into the brain mold. I think in the future I would start with a little less frosting and then add as needed. XP rising all the time.

Now that I had everything ready to go, I began on the scariest task of all, melting chocolate. After reading tons of how-tos online, I decided to go with the over the stove method of melting chocolate. I felt I would have more control over it, plus I thought it just made me look cooler than using the microwave J All this consisted of was putting about an inch of water in a pan and placing one of my mixing bowels above it. One tip I read over and over again is that the water in the pot below should NOT reach a boil. I had many freak out moments of boiling water. Apparently it doesn’t ruin the chocolate if it reaches a boil, just make sure it’s turned down again quickly. Look at my XP fly!

I stirred constantly in fear of burning the chocolate. Once it was all melted, it was time for the fun to really begin! I had the mini-brain mold standing by and began filling the tray making sure to cover all the sides.

     I placed these in the freezer for about five minutes in order to let them harden. When I brought them back out, I put the cherry filling in the newly hardened brains. The cherries seemed to be too big for what I was going for (Gooey redness oozing out of the brain once bitten) so I just used the filling in the can, minus the big cherry chunks.

I grabbed handfuls of the cake ball mix already prepared and squished in it to fill up the rest of the space of the brain mold.

 

I covered the top with the remainder of the white chocolate and placed it back in the freezer for five minutes. After checking on it, I left it in for another five minutes for good measure. When I brought them back out, I had a nice heart attack moment when I realized I had forgotten to spray the mold with the awesome baking spray I bought for that very purpose. I crossed my fingers, held by breath, and began to twist the mold to loosen the mini-brains I had worked so hard to achieve. Here’s the result:

Success! The ice cube try made it surprisingly easy. I gave myself a five second break to run upstairs and get a high five from my husband, then returned to the kitchen to tackle the center piece of this birthday celebration, the large brain cake. I followed much of the same routine for the large brain mold, only this time I remembered to generously apply the baking spray to the brain mold before beginning. I melted more white chocolate and coated the inside of the mold. I started with a thin layer, placed it in the freezer for five minutes, spread another layer of chocolate, more freezing, and then more chocolate, until I was sure the entire inside was covered and stable. After a quick wish on a star, and with breath held, I flipped the mold over… and a chocolate brain mold was born!

The chocolate brain was placed back in the mold, filled with the home made chocolate frosting, squished full with the second 9” baked cake, and covered with more melted white chocolate. It went in the freezer for about ten minutes.

And the final result!

 

My husband was very impressed J

That’s what I call a successful 30^th Birthday of the Dead!

 

This whole experience has taught me to trust my instincts more when in the kitchen. As the wise Master Yoda once said, “Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.” I went into that kitchen armed with recipes and research and a determination to give my husband one awesomely themed Zombie birthday, and I wasn’t leaving until I had succeeded. Luckily, I reached all of my goals on the first go, and received many high fives from my amazingly supportive husband. But I was also prepared with a backup plan had everything gone wrong. Are you ready for it? It’s called extra ingredients and a full day with nothing else planed! If things fell apart, I was prepared to do it as many times as needed until I reached the results I wanted. Usually my busy teacher schedule doesn’t allow for this, but I am lucky enough to have this holiday week off.  Coruscant was not built in a day, and neither will my baking skills be leveled up with this one experience. And that’s fine by me. I look forward to continuing my experimentation down any and all nerdy paths that catch my fancy. This birthday was an epic win and I swear I could feel my baking XP growing with every success. I can’t wait until next year, I already have many nerdy themes brewing J

I would love to learn about more zombie themed recipes so that when this theme is inevitably revived in my household at a future date, we can have even more delicious zombie fun! Feel free to post ideas in the comment section below. I look forward to reading all the creative ideas J